Why do We Pee When We Poop?

OK, as you probably noticed, my art review didn’t go so good. But hey, the way I figure it, I never done anything like that before so what’d I have to lose?

So now I’m Mr. Science.

For my first topic I’d like to ax a question.

Can you poop and not pee at the same time or the other way around?

What I mean is, let’s say you have poop, but you only wanna pee. You just wanna hold the shit and drop your load later. I donno why. Just go with it OK?

OK, OK, I’ll give ya an example. Let’s say the doc wants a sample. So, you go into the little room with a cup. You don’t wanna make biggies right now, but it’s knockin at the back door. But you can’t hold the cup and take a dump too. What, you think I’m some kinda filthy pig? You’ll get shit all over the cup! That’s no way to give a sample to the doc.

So, I’m tellin my gut to hold up and wait a minute, so what happens? Everything closes up shop and I get nothin. I finally had to just drop my logs, let the piss go with it and go out to where they keep the old magazines. I had to drink some water and wait to make new pee. That was really annoying cuz I got stuff to do. I don’t have time to hang around waitin for my equipment to make a new supply. So here I am runnin the water, whistlin, you know the stuff they tell ya to do to get it goin again. All that stuff don’t help if you don’t have it. You just have to wait.

So why is this that I can’t do one thing in the toilet without doin the other? My dog can, I watched him. But I can’t. Why is this?

OK, so here’s the skinny on the whole situation. You can pee, just pee, if you don’t have to poop, but you can’t just poop and not pee at the same time. Why you ask?

Let me explain.

The reason why your pee has to come out with your poop is pretty simple, turns out. There are a bunch a muscles down there, some we control and some we don’t. They control the movement of our bodily wastes. (That’s polite talk for shit and piss, nice huh? I looked it up so I could talk real pretty. I wanna do good on this one so they don’t fire me. The food in the break room is killer.) Both your pee hole and your poop hole have valves inside and outside to control this passing.

Get this, the valves are called sphincters. What a word! It uses most a the letters in the alphabet I think.

Anyway, the sphincters inside are the ones we don’t control. Probably a good thing. You know those people who always try to put off going until the last minute and then it’s an explosion in the toilet! I hate that.

The sphincters on the outside are the ones we control. So, you can use them to hold in your pee or poop, only lettin go when and where you wanna go.

OK, so here’s the point. The sphincters for the pee hole are smaller and easier to control. But the sphincters for the poop hole are way stronger. The anal sphincter – how do you like that? It almost sounds dirty. Anyway, the anal sphincter – love that word, hope I can use it in conversation a lot now that I know it! As I was sayin, the anal sphincter – hey I really am startin to sound like Dr. Science here, but the anal sphincter decreases the pressure in the weaker piss sphincter, allowing your pee to pass at the same time. Kinda like bathroom plumbing.

The point is, it’s a fight between the shit and piss muscles and shit wins over piss every time.  That’s just the way it is, no way around it, end of story.

Another question answered by


(You fill in the echo ok?)

Clifford Bello Written by:

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