By Wilson Lloyd Mann
Taylor, you ignorant slut.
Don’t get your bloomers twisted young lady. I borrowed the line from the infamous Dan Aykroyd in the 1979 Point/Counter Point sketch from Saturday Night Live.
I’m sure this classic reference sailed right over your head, though. It aired before you were even an ovum!
Yet, to purport that you have an opinion on anything, you pipsqueak. The fact that I have underwear with a sell by date older than you is an understatement. The unquestionable challenge is your inability to comprehend Donald Trump and the governance of his domestic life. Melania is not emotionless, convivial, scholarly or vapid. She is his spouse and recognizes her station – behind him as support staff.
As long as she gives him what he requires when he necessitates it, he is contented. That keeps me relaxed. Who wants a president with his finger on the red button, when he’s bad-tempered because he hasn’t had his male requisites fulfilled recently. On a positive note for Melania, at Donald’s age, it’s probably not that often. He has very little time for sex between tweeting on the toilet and attempting to develop even a tenuous grasp of how the light switches work in the white house. I concede that Donald Trump is not the most astute president we’ve had in residence at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, but he is a Republican, at least for the moment, and heralds conservative values – as much as he can fathom such.
Melania is merely a pretty bauble to entertain the man in the oval office or not, as the situation dictates. That is a first lady’s job. She is doing her part, bless her. Melania looks great gliding along with him on official occasions, usually at a respectful few paces behind him. Why should we have any interest whatsoever if she shuns his hand? Perhaps he has a skin condition she doesn’t want to contract. He’s clearly been quite sexually active in his salad days, so who knows what venereal diseases he may be potentially transmitting? Melania does, so let’s respect her personal knowledge and leave her alone.
Why do we have first ladies exclusively?
Holding the office of President of the United States is a gentleman’s appointment. It is not for the viperous female of questionable moral scruples. If it were, we would have had a woman holding the most important position in this great nation by now. The fairer sex is unable to complete this task successfully. You can wax on about how the Russians altered the result in the Trump election, but it really only comes down to one thing – you gals just can’t quite get it right.
Melania is dead-on. She keeps her mouth shut and her head down, letting her husband do all the talking. It’s ingenious. She has Donald completely bamboozled into thinking he holds the power. But who really reigns supreme in the white house? I cannot say for certain, but I refuse to trust anyone of the female persuasion. It began with Eve, and we read the accounts of how well that went. Obviously, they have to keep a tight rein on Melania. Who knows what she might express at any given moment?
Do I feel sorry for her? Not in the least. She entered the marriage contract with her eyes wide open, knowing sex with an unattractive, distasteful dimwit was part of the deal, but she agreed to the package deal anyway because he had wealth and prestige. She did her job, created progeny for him. Now she must to remain until little Barron grows to adulthood and can get the hell away from the pair of them.
Who are we kidding, she lives in the lap of luxury. Money, clothes, fame, looks, a son, what more could any woman want? Granted, she does have to live in that madhouse with that wacky brood of Donald’s, but there’s a fly in every bowl of soup.
Photo: Evan Vucci / AP / NTB scanpix